Travel writer and founder of House of Bashka, Rosalyn Wikeley, on the places that stay with us, memorable rituals, and finding moments of escape amid family life.
For our latest Sunday Edition, we sit down with Rosalyn to talk travel, motherhood and memory, from the beaches of West Dorset and Sicily to the mountains of South Tyrol.
We discover the places she returns to, the scents that transport her elsewhere, and why the perfect escape is often about how a place makes you feel.
You've built a career exploring some of the world's most beautiful destinations and hotels. What first drew you to travel writing?
I don’t see travel writing as sitting within its own category – it’s writing about other cultures, food, design, language, style, scenes, sociology, geography… I was seduced by this skeleton key value… and, pre-children, the glamour of being paid to travel and review beautiful hotels. Originally, the plan was to be a diplomat… so travel was always on the agenda in some capacity.
Having visited so many extraordinary places, what separates a good destination from one that stays with you long after you've left?
Everyone has their preferences and gripes. I’m drawn to those with layers of history and landscapes that tug on something deep in your soul. It’s often the feeling that washes over you during your stay, not necessarily what you’re seeing or eating… and that often comes from the tone set by the owners and staff and the general rhythms of a place. I’ve stayed at hotels that were meant to be exceptional, but felt empty and run by staff who had no skin in the game. I like hotels where an owner’s touch is still present, or you’re lured into a particular way of life by the layout and rituals - breakfast beneath a grape vine, a morning wild swim, a hike with ponies for a picnic, a siesta bed in the shade of citrus trees, a grand piano by the bar etc etc. I love the feeling of being tipped into someone else’s world and space for a few days.
“I love the feeling of being tipped into someone else’s world and space for a few days.”
As summer approaches, where are you most excited to travel this year, and what is calling you there?
The Dolomites. I’m really looking forward to a Sound of Music-esque summer with lakes, lots of cheese and crisp blue skies. I like to save the Mediterranean for shoulder season now with three young children – would rather not spend precious holiday time together hunting down aircon and I’m a terrible sunbather. I rarely sit still.
Is there a place in the world where you instantly feel calmer, more grounded, or more yourself?
West Dorset, particularly along the beaches. I can breathe when I see the sea (and it’s home), and Paris as I spent the last year of my teens there having an absolute ball and know its streets better than a little Parisian rat.
" I’ve written about Sicily for many titles. It’s hard to articulate why I love it so much, but probably for its textured history (every civilisation had its moment there), its whopping palazzi which are being rescued by various talented aesthetes"
What does the idea of a "perfect escape" look like to you today?
No plane delays or luggage stress. Somewhere straightforward to reach (I’m allergic to tricky travel, and particularly flying before 10am), full mornings milling around with my children somewhere scenic and fresh, giggling and being silly, then long lunches with friends, and a game of tennis with my husband or a long swim, or skiing just us, with Aperol pit stops along the way. Early tea and bathtime with the children, games and cookies, their bed time, our party time. Perfect escape.
An escape without the children would look veery different - either a weekend in St Moritz, a few days Aeolian island hopping, or (my latest obsession) a little cabin on a Norwegian island with long lie-ins and candle-lit card games.
Travel can be exhilarating but also exhausting. What are your personal travel hacks for arriving somewhere feeling refreshed rather than depleted?
Never fly before 10am for leisure and never travel through Stansted or Luton, it’s a false economy (on both counts).
At anatomē, we're fascinated by the connection between scent and memory. Are there particular scents that instantly transport you to a favourite destination or summer memory?
A few. Actually the smell of my best friend’s suncream and oil from Nuxe. She’s unbelievably glamorous and always spritzing herself with delicious smelling potions, but she’s also a sunshine girl and visions of her dousing herself with Nuxe products, (in her fab sunnies and 114th swimsuit of the week) appear whenever someone mentions a summer holiday, or pooltime. The hot fragrant air in Scottsdale Arizona (where family lived), and the potent waft of the cream leather cars that were always freezing cold from the aircon. It’s not particularly pleasant but the scent of bug spray will always immediately transport me to some sun-scorched Mediterranean island, or further flung tropical destinations.
You're known for your eye for style. How does your approach to packing evolve between a city break, a family holiday, and a longer adventure?
I now pack a set number of looks in those lame packing cubes as life has become too hectic to style once I’m there. My packing space gets smaller with each child, so I’m pretty nifty now at stuffing essentially capsule collections into the corner of a suitcase. I’ll pull out the strong looks for city breaks and keep things cosy and understated for ski holidays, then for longer adventures, a few chic looks mixed in with some seriously practical pieces. My mother backpacked in her early twenties with a black Gucci dress scunched into the bottom of her bag, which she pulled out for the odd ball or party they were invited to along the way. It’s always worth having a party look in the mix.
"Work stress pales in comparison to the pressure to raise healthy, courageous, kind and well-educated children, which can curiously make you better, braver and more efficient at your job."
As a mother and someone whose work involves frequent travel, how has your relationship with sleep changed over the years?
Ha. aha. Well. My sleep habits are the pits for parenthood - my dream would be to pass out at 1am having hit my efficiency stride between 9 and 12. Then for someone to take the children from 7am while I snooze until at least 9am. That’s obviously a fantasy with children, so I often end up banking a solid 5 hours sleep and wondering why I look so haggard the following morning. Travelling wise, I’d rather fill a day with travel and not feel tired than drag my sleep deprived body, and three moaning children all the way to 7pm following a dry-mouthed early morning flight. I’ve done that enough times to avoid it at all costs.
Many parents dream of uninterrupted sleep. What does a truly restorative night's sleep look like for you at this stage of life?
Like a mirage quivering in the distance.
After a busy day of work, travel, and family life, what are your rituals for switching off and recovering?
Like most working mothers, switch off and recovery time is a bit of a fantasy - one of the many sacrifices our generation has made to keep work spinning, children safe and happy, and a house one Lego-piece away from looking as if it’s been burgled is self-care. One positive of this, is that work stress pales in comparison to the pressure to raise healthy, courageous, kind and well-educated children, which can curiously make you better, braver and more efficient at your job. The downside is that, while the responsibility is clearcut, the journey is not and I’m yet to figure out how to take off-time (whenever I have help with the children, I snatch that time to catch up on work or admin). Seeing good friends for a large glass of wine and a giggle really fills my cup, and having a shower without children pressing their faces against the door, or begging me to draw the sixth heart through the steam. The pinnacle of luxury.
Summer can feel particularly magical with children. What are you most looking forward to experiencing through your children's eyes this season?
You know, it really has been this year, but for several reasons. Firstly, I’ve just finished writing a coffee table book which I’m sadly unable to talk about for a while. The filing date coincided with every school event in the calendar and I missed all those milestone moments, BUT, I knew it was worth it for an entire summer with my children. Yes, a few tennis clubs here and there for all our sanity, but with the most precious, unpressurised moments together pootling off on little Swallows and Amazons adventures or having lunch at friend’s houses while they splash in the pool or roll about on the fried lawns. The timing couldn’t have been better.
My summer holiday memories as a child are mostly my own mother taking us all to the beach, painting with us outside and leaving us to our own devices on the farm until supper. We went abroad a lot, but my clearest, summery memories are lying in the long, baked grass at home, taking my dog and friends on adventures to the lake and being chased by my grandmother’s geese. I want to give our children that summery freedom, but they’re too little for the moment so I’m soaking in every moment.
We live so close to some of the UK’s most beautiful beaches, where rolling fields meet the sea, so time off is very special here. Though all my children have talked about all summer is their impending trip to the mountains… requesting a detailed analysis of the various pools and ice cream options.
Food is such an important part of travel. What are you most excited to be eating this summer, and is there a dish or destination meal you still think about today?
We’re off to South Tyrol and I love how the region’s history is scribbled onto its menus – a meeting point for Austro-Hungarian and Italian cultures, of dumplings, strudel, speck and ravioli. I’m excited for the pasta, the mountain cheeses and the various cakes with tea after long hikes. In terms of a dish I still think about today.. an enormous plate of rich ragu in an unfancy trattoria, somewhere in Verona. I think about it a lot, and how simple and perfect it was. I’ve been lucky enough to dine at Cheval Blanc St Tropez’, which was the most theatrical dinners I’ve ever experienced, alongside those at the private Champagne maisons, and The Ritz in London, with all the table-side action. Last one, Sud O Pássaro Verde in Rio - the classic tale of a chef who freed herself of the Michelin shackles and took her talents back to what mattered – good produce, beautifully cooked, without the fanfare, foam and edible flowers.
What are the small moments in your day that help you reconnect with yourself amidst the demands of motherhood, work, and travel?
For me, wearing an outfit I like is a non-negotiable, no matter how tired I am. Yes there will be days where I seriously drop the ball on this and fail to reach for my make up bag, but most of the time, my wardrobe is my creative sanctuary, my identity and a sense of control amid the merry mayhem of motherhood. It’s my armour to handle the trials and tribulations of the day. Moments wise – remembering that these are the best days. There are great ones ahead, but appreciation sits a long way from apathy if you know how to channel it.
Voicenotes from great friends that help me feel connected, even if we’re far far away. Listening to the news and reading the FT weekend papers makes me feel like I’m not lost at sea.
“My wardrobe is my creative sanctuary, my identity and a sense of control amid the merry mayhem of motherhood.”
Are there places your family returns to year after year that feel like home away from home? What makes them so special?
Yes, Sicily. I’ve written about Sicily for many titles, for many years, and we go most years, often twice or three times a year. It’s hard to articulate why I love it so much, but probably for its textured history (every civilisation had its moment there), its whopping palazzi which are being rescued by various talented aesthetes, and for its sense of exoticism which feels different to the rest of the Med. First timers should read Il Gattopardo and watch the Netflix adaptation.
Looking to the months ahead, how do you want to feel this summer- not just professionally, but as a mother, traveller, and individual?
I want to soak it all in like the Scandis as winters in deepest darkest Dorset can be bleak, especially when it rains incessantly. But expectations wise, I had 3 children in 4 years, so if I can sneak in a few swims and walks with my husband and friends, I’d be thrilled.
For more of Rosalyn’s travels, favourite places and the things she loves along the way, explore House of Bashka.
